The Daddy Test
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Guess who wants a baby? Now guess who would rather bash his head in after gutting himself? - Post-Nevermore.
1. Chapter 1

The Daddy Test

Chapter 1

"I want to have a baby."

You know that moment in life when everything's perfect? When you have a hot girlfriend who's also the leader of a whole freaking island and who you have lots of totally hot sex with? You know that moment right? Yeah, it can be completely ruined with that one sentence.

"Say what?"

"You heard me." Max looked up at him. "I want to have a baby."

He looked down at her before back up at the ceiling of their treehouse. "Is this about Iggy?"

"…If Ella gets to be a mother, why can't I be one?"

"You are one. You've raised tons of kids."

"Not really."

"Yes, really."

"Not my own children. Not our children."

Fang blinked. "Babe, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not really the father type."

"I don't care. Learn. Take lessons." She kissed his chest. "I want a baby."

"We're only…how old are we?"

"Twenty-five, probably."

"Right. And that's a horrible age to have children. Twenty-five year olds are self-centered and irresponsible."

"Then when do you want children?"

"Mmmm…fifty sound good to you?"

"Fang-"

"Max, I'm no good at that sort of stuff. I mean, God, I haven't even held Iggy and Ella's baby yet because I'm afraid I'll drop it." He shook his head. "It's hopeless. Really."

"I want a baby."

"Well, I don't."

"You're going to give me a baby, Fang or else-"

"Or else what?" He sat up then, looking slightly bemused. "You'll have a baby with another man?"

"Exactly." She moved to sit up too, going to pick up her bra from the floor and slip it back on. It was the middle of the day after all; she had to get back out there to oversee her island. Besides, their afternoon delight was turning into a nightmare. It was time to get out while she was still ahead.

"Exactly what?"

"Dylan will make an excellent-"

"Nice try, Max. Old rivals, right?" Fang snorted. "You know that Dylan's with that blonde chick now."

"I'm his one true love, Fang," she told him simply as she moved to slip on her t-shirt. "If I tell him to fuck me, he'll fuck me. If I tell him to knock me up, he'll knock me up. If I tell him to kill you, he'll kill you. And right now, I'm going to go ask him to do all three. So rest up, dear. You're in for the fight of your- Hey!"

Fang had tackled her back to the ground of their treehouse, rubbing his still exposed self against her. "Dylan can't fuck you. Dylan couldn't fuck a paper bag. He's just a kid."

"Get off me!"

"Roll over for me, baby, and I'll show you what fucking means."

"Knock it off."

"Then don't test me." Fang shifted off her, sighing as she quickly moved to get dressed. "You're mine, Max. You know you could never be with someone else."

"Well, you need to get your crap together, Fang," she told him simply as she then began running her fingers through her hair in a lame attempt to fix it. "Because I don't just want a kid. I want multiple kids."

He groaned. "Max-"

"It's not like it's the first time that we've talked about this, Fang," she told him.

"Yeah, but when we talked about it before, it was all hypothetical. There was no fear of you wanting to start poking holes in the condoms to trick me!"

"I would never trick you. You should want to have a baby with me."

"I just…" He let out a long sigh as he looked to the side. "I've tried, Max, taking care of the younger kids. You've seen me try. I don't like…nasty. I don't like spit, I don't like poop, I don't like boogers. I don't like that stuff. If we could have a kid, send him off for his formative years, and have him come back later, that'd be cool. But a baby? A serious baby? That's not me. I'm sorry."

She just stood then, slipping on her jeans before heading to the entrance to their treehouse. "You better make it you, Fang, because that's a do or die in this relationship. If you don't' want kids, then you don't want me."

"Max-"

"I have to get back to work. See you tonight for dinner."

He just laid there for a long time after she left, spread eagle on their treehouse floor. Their treehouse. Fang had build it for her from the remnants of the old ones that had been there when they first got to the island. Because he loved her. He loved Max so much at times that it hurt. And there she was, weighing their whole relationship on whether or not they'll have children? Screw that!

"I'm the whole fucking package," he mumbled as he ran a hand down his bare chest.

And he was. The whole package that is. Fang was freaking awesome. A lot of the guys had let themselves go around the island, but not Fang. He exercised rigorously all for Max. Just for Max. Because he loved Max. He wanted to still turn her on. Still keep things between them fresh. You'd think she'd want to do the same thing.

"A baby would kill it," he whispered.

And it would. A baby would absolutely kill every good thing about their relationship. If they had a baby, where would it sleep? In the treehouse with them. How could Fang ever screw Max if their baby was right there, sleeping? He'd have to build another room into the treehouse. Did Max not realize the work that would take? The time? And all that for what? Another whiny, snot nosed brat? No way. Fang had enough to worry about. Like Gazzy. And Nudge. Not to mention Ange. What if Angel-

"Shit." Fang shot up then, rushing to dress himself. "Angel."

He had promised Angel that he'd eat lunch with her. And he had planned to. Honest. It was just…Max came into the treehouse all horny and stuff…it wasn't like he could turn her down…

"Late," was the first words out of Angel's mouth as she saw him running down the beach towards her. "Too late."

He frowned as he got to her. "You didn't wait for me?"

"We were supposed to meet an hour ago, Fang," the seventeen-year-old girl told him. Fang just stared down at the fruit cores on the ground in front of her. "I did save you an apple though."

"But-"

She handed it off to him. "See you later. Remember to put the cores in the compost pile, huh?"

He made a face as Angel skipped off down the beach, towards a group of young girls. The whole reason he had wanted to eat lunch with Angel was so that he could talk to her about her…boyfriend. If there was anything that disgusted him more than having a baby, it was the poop the baby would produce. Right behind that though was Angel dating. Yuck.

"Hi, Fang."

He frowned as sometime later Nudge passed him, stopping and taking notice of him sitting alone eating an apple on the beach. Grunting, he didn't even look at her.

"Wow, you were really hungry," she commented, looking down at the cores that Angel had left on the ground. Still, Fang didn't say anything, figuring it didn't matter much. He just wanted Nudge to go away.

"What's wrong with you?" Nudge asked, picking up on his downcast mood. "Fang?"

He let out a long breath before staring up at her. "Max wants a baby."

She blinked. "Oh. Congrats, I guess."

"No, not congrats. I don't want a baby," he told hr. "I would be a horrible father.'

"Ain't that the truth."

"Hey-"

"Well, you would. You're self-centered, work way too much, and are practically anti-social."

"…I don't work that much."

"It's not that you're cursed with being a bad father, Fang," Nudge told him then, smiling slightly. "You just need a little, you know, practice."

"I've tried taking care of children, babies. I don't like them."

"Then you'll have to learn to like them," she said simply.

"And how exactly will I do that?"

She shrugged. "Well, for starters, you could help Ella and Iggy take care of Jason."

"Ew. I tried that. I held him. You know what he did? Pooped. It was sickening."

"You pooped when you were a kid, you know."

"Yeah, but I didn't have to change myself."

Nudge rolled her eyes. "That's where I was going now, to go see Ella. Did you want to go?"

He thought for a moment. "I kinda needed to work in the labs some-"

"Seriously, Fang?"

Sighing, he stood up slowly. "Fine. But I'm going to have to get rid of these apple cores first."

"If you weren't such a pig-"

"I'm not a pig."

"You totally are."

Grunting, he started to gather them up. "So what? I'm going to go hold the baby or whatever?"

"At first. Then, maybe, you can keep him for an hour or two. Feed him, change him-"

"No. Ew. Disgusting."

"Baby steps, Fang. Baby steps." Then Nudge giggled causing him to frown.

"What?"

"Get it? Baby steps? We're talking about you taking care of a baby. Get it?"

Sighing, he started to head off towards the compost pile, shaking his head. "Couldn't we just, you know, make Max realize that she doesn't want a baby and is just jealous of the fact that her sister has one?"

"Fang, when a woman wants a baby, she wants a baby. You can't fight it." Nudge followed along behind him. "You just need, you know, a test."

"A test?"

"A baby test."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll have you take care of a baby, you know. Jason mostly. I'll test you on things. Like your ability not to gag when he poops or vomits, how you hold his bottle and cradle him. How good of a daddy you are. It'll be a, uh, daddy test."

He just blinked. "I dunno. I still like making Max realize baby's suck."

Nudge shook her head. "Whatever. If you're not up for the challenge-"

"I didn't say that."

"I mean, Iggy did it. He's a father now. It's kinda funny, seeing as you're the one that's in the better relationship, right?"

"Duh."

"Guess Iggy's just better at being a father than you," Nudge went on. She now had her mind set on making operation: Daddy Test a go, if only because she had so little to do those days. Other than, like, work. Bleh. "Stronger and shit-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa-"

"He is, Fang. He doesn't gag when the baby poops."

"I can hold down my gag reflex," Fang insisted. "I totally can."

"If you say so. I won't believe it though, until I, you know, see it."

"Fine," Fang said as they continued down the beach. "I'll hold the freaking baby or whatever. Change his diaper and stuff."

"Great." Nudge tried to hold down her happiness. Mission: Daddy Test was on. It was totally on.

* * *

**Bleh. I wanted to write Maximum Ride today, but had nothing to write. I had written this up a month or so ago and figured it could do as a short 10 chapter replacement to Spy Games. Until I start a serious Maximum Ride story again. Which I totally want. Really.**


	2. Chapter 2

The Daddy Test

Chapter 2

"Hi, Nudge. And oh, you brought Fang," Ella said slowly, looking the man over. "That's so…"

"Fang came to apologize for vomiting when the baby pooped before," Nudge said as they landed on the deck of Iggy and Ella's treehouse.

She was out there, nursing the baby. That in itself about made Fang sick. Women on the island seemed to think that they could just plop their boobs out anywhere and let their little brats suck on them. Disgusting.

Now, if some of the women suddenly wanted to, you know, just walk around shirtless, that was fine. Acceptable. Fang would very much enjoy that. Just so long as they weren't, like, lactating. That's what made it so disgusting.

"I did not vomit," Fang told Nudge, almost frowning at her. To Ella he said, "I want to…improve my relations with your child."

Ella looked to Nudge. "Please explain that to me in a way that doesn't sound perverted."

"He wants to get better at taking care of babies."

"Why?"

"Because Max is all hormonal and jealous," she said. "Now she wants a baby like you and Fang isn't very…good at taking care of things."

"He can't be that bad."

"When we were kids, he and Iggy kept a pet snake in a little box. One day it got out and when Fang found it, he was so angry that he killed it."

Ella held her baby tighter to her chest. "Are you serious?"

Fang just blinked. "Is it about done…eating? Or drinking? I kinda need to hold it."

"No!"

"…No it's not or-"

Nudge put a hand on Fang's arm, silencing him. She had come this far. Ella's maternal fears were not going to stop this!

"Ella," she said slowly, taking a concerned tone. "Think of Max, your dear big sister."

"What about her?"

"Max really wants a baby. What if Fang impregnates her? And he's never learned? You know what will happen then? The baby will cry and make him angry and then Fang will bash its head in.

"I will n-"

"'Shush," Nudge cut Fang's protests off. To the other woman, she said, "Ella, this is important."

"Is Iggy around?" Fang looked into the treehouse then. "I bet he'll let me hold it."

"Stop calling my baby an it."

He just stared at Ella. "Fine. Now let me hold…him."

There was an awkward beat where, as he was waiting to get the baby, Fang saw his girlfriend's sister's nipples, which was not at all like the fantasy most guys have. Fang got the hotter of the two sisters, hands down. Not to mention, Ella was a mom now and stuff. Ew.

"There you go, Jason," Ella mumbled as Fang shifted the baby in his arms, trying to hold it the way he had been shown the other day when he held him. "Be gentle, Fang."

Gentle and Fang went together about as much as olives and ice cream. Shaking his head, Fang started down at the baby, who was staring back up at him with its stupid green eyes and baby face. Fang didn't like babies at all. The other day, Iggy told him that the thing puked on him. Puked! On the person that freaking cares for it. If it would do that, what motivation did the kid have not to do the same to Fang, the person that would rather release him into the wild and let him age up until he was four or five and then take him back?

"See, Ella? He's doing just fine with phase one," Nudge told the other woman.

"Phase one?"

"Yes. Holding the baby."

Fang looked around the deck then, his arms starting to get tired. This baby thing was simple, apparently. Holding it at least. It didn't move at all, which was great. The baby did stink at that moment though, as it reeked of milk. It's mother's milk. Ella's milk. And when Fang had a baby, the baby would smell of Max's milk. It made his slightly nauseous just thinking about it.

Blood, guts, intestines? Fang could do those. His girlfriend producing…milk like some kind of cow or something creeped him the hell out. When he had mentioned this to Iggy once, he told him that he was being immature. Fang couldn't help it though. Max's boobs were for him, not for some…thing that he didn't even want around.

"Good job, Fang," Nudge told him, her voice hollow. She didn't want the man to drop the baby, of course. There was no part of her that wanted to see any harm come to the little Jason, but there was a huge part of her that wanted to see Fang muck something up. That was her whole drive behind this little experiment anyway. It's not like she really cared if Fang was a good father or not. Sure, Max being pregnant would be fun, but not that much fun.

Still, Fang took her seriously and looked back down at the baby. She had said that he had done good after all. Good job, Fang. Ha ha! So see? He was as good as Iggy. Nudge was crazy.

While he was staring down at the baby, Fang started to notice how happy Jason looked. Jason. Jason. He was a pretty alright kid, the man decided then, continuing to cradle the baby. How could he have ever though otherwise?

And then it happened.

"Oh, God, get it out of my arms," Fang complained as they all smelt why the baby had been so smiley. "It stinks. Oh, God, Ella-"

"Suck it up," Nudge ordered him, putting a hand against Ella's arm when she moved to rescue her son. "Smell that shit, Fang!"

"Nudge!" Ella shoved the other woman off her before moving to take her son. "God, what is wrong with you?"

The twenty-two year old just stood there indignantly while Fang opened his wings once more, preparing for a take off.

"I am trying to save the life of Max and Fang's not yet conceived child, Ella. I'm sorry that it's not that much of a concern to you."

"I-"

"Fang, where are you going?" Nudge cut Ella's response off as Fang turned to jump off the deck. "Come back. You have to change his diaper now. It's part of your training!"

"No way." Fang took off into the air, not even looking back. If Fang didn't know better, he'd say that was Gazzy's kid, not Iggy's. Atomic craps much?

* * *

"You smell clean."

Fang nodded his head frantically as Max came into their hut. "I had to freaking scrub down."

"Why?"

"Ella's baby pooped while I was holding it again."

Max just blinked as she came to sit down on their pallet with him. In front of him sat a small pile of fruit, no doubt meant to be their dinner. "Why were you holding it?"

He shrugged. "You know, 'cause of you or whatever."

"Me?"

He nodded again, though that time it wasn't as frenzied. "Since you want a baby and everything. I thought that if I-"

"Oh, Fang." She elbowed him in the side. "That's so sweet."

Fang just shrugged again as he reached forward to grab a pear out of the pile. He had waited for Max to eat. You know, the way Angel should have done him.

"So," Max prompted then. "How'd it go?"

"I just told you it pooped on me."

"Well, did you change him?"

"Ew, gross."

"Fang-"

"I'm seriously never changing a diaper. I'd vomit."

"Then what else did you do?"

"Hmmm?"

"What else did you do with Jason?" she asked as she got her own piece of fruit.

"Oh, nothing," he said, shaking his head. "I'm not going to be doing anything with that brat."

"What?"

"I've decided that we're never, you know, doing this kid thing. Or maybe, in the very, very far away future, we can adopt a teenager that knows how to take care of itself or something," Fang told her. "If you want. But as far as you having a baby or whatever, no way- Ow, Max."

She had hit him in the shoulder. "You big doofus."

"What is your problem?" He stood up then, frowning down at her. "Max-"

"You are going back tomorrow and changing that baby's diaper."

"What?"

"You are, Fang."

"No, I'm not."

"Do you want to continue to have sex with me?"

"Yes."

"To be in a relationship with me?"

"Well-"

"Fang."

"Yes," he groaned.

"Then you're going back tomorrow. I'll walk you there myself if I have to."

He let out a loud growl as he collapsed back into their bedding. His life sucked. Seriously.

"But, Max," he whined as he cuddled back into their pillows, his nasty socks clad feet almost touching their fruit pile, causing Max to bat at them. "I saw her nipple."

"Whose nipple?"

"Ella's."

"What?"

"She basically flashed me," he told her.

"When? What are you-"

"She was feeding the baby and-"

"Oh, Fang."

"What? Why is it okay for her to show me them then and not when I want to see them?"

She hit at him again, causing him to kick at her. "You want to see them?"

"You know what I mean," he complained as he rolled onto his back.

"Oh, I know what you mean."

"Max-"

"It's okay for her to breastfeed in front of you, Fang, because it's natural. That's what you do. That's how the baby eats. It's nature."

He stared up at the roof of the treehouse. "Masturbation is natural. Is it okay for me to just whip it out and start playing with myself in front of- Ow! Stop hitting me!"

"Then stop saying stupid things. And sit up. Your dirty socks are getting all over the fruit."

Huffing, he did as asked before saying, "I just don't get it."

"And you're not going to because you don't want to."

"Damn straight."

"You are, though, going over there again to help care for the baby."

"But Max, what if I see her nipples again?"

Rolling her eyes heavily, she said, "You know what? We can't have a baby. You're too much of a baby for me to even deal with. Why add another one?"

"Exactly."

"I was insulting you. I wasn't serious."

"I took you seriously. Now we're never having a bab- Stop hitting me. God."

"You're going tomorrow," Max told him, making eye contact with him as the words came out of her mouth. "Or else."

Or else. Or else. Or freaking else. Ha. Like Max scared him. She didn't really think she scared him, did she?


	3. Chapter 3

The Daddy Test

Chapter 3

"So why are you here again?"

"Because," Fang started as he stared down at the sleeping baby, all snuggled up on his tiny makeshift crib of blankets and old clothes. "I want to further my horizons."

"…So basically Max is making you."

"Basically."

And so, yeah, Max did scare Fang. Who the hell didn't she scare anyways?

"Welp, Fang," Iggy began, not moving from his lounge like position on his bed area. "It doesn't look like the kid is going to poop any time soon."

"He hasn't in freaking hours," Fang complained. "Did you guys not feed him or something?"

"I don't feed him," Iggy told his friend. "Not to mention, that's kind of a dumb question to ask. If we didn't feed him, you know what he'd do? Die."

Fang just grunted as he continued to look down at the child. "He could at least cry or something."

"Why?"

"So then I could tell Max that I comforted him. That's way more important than changing a diaper, don't you think?"

"Not really, no."

"Well, I do."

"Tell you what," Iggy said as he sat up slightly. "When he needs something, I'll call for you. I'll even let you hold Ella's boob up to his mouth if it would make you happy. But until then, I'm trying to nap."

Fang shivered from the visual he had given him. Yuck. "How am I stopping you from napping?"

"You just are, okay?"

"You can't even see me," Fang pointed out. "So really-"

"Do I go into you and Max's treehouse?"

"Yes."

"Not unless you want me to."

"Not true. That one time you, like, walked in on us when we were-"

"It's not like I saw anything. And I was with Nudge. We had something very important to-"

"What?" Fang asked. "What was so important that you had to-"

"I don't know now," Iggy grumbled. "God, that was months ago. A year ago, maybe. Do you remember important things from a year ago?"

"Yes!"

"Fine," Iggy said. "When's Max's birthday then? Since you remember everything-"

"Trick question. She doesn't have one."

"We go through this every year, Fang. She picked June 7th to be her birthday. And every year I have to remind you so you don't get in trouble."

He scowled then over at the blind man whose child he was holding. "Don't make me drop your baby, Iggy."

"Dude, this is exactly why Ella didn't even want you holding the baby!"

"You can't deny my right to the baby. He's practically my own kid now. I mean I held him, didn't I?"

Iggy groaned as he stood up from his bed. "Bring him to me, Fang. Now."

"No." Fang held the baby to him. "He's- Oh, God, he's crying. Here, take him."

"I thought that was the whole reason you were here?"

Groaning, Fang looked down at the baby before slowly trying to rock him. Was he even doing it right? "There, there, uh, baby."

"Jason. His name is Jason, Fang."

"I know that. I just-"

"You totally just forgot my son's name."

"No."

"Fang."

"Well…it is a very generic name. I mean-"

"All the more reason to remember it!"

Fang huffed. "I just don't know what you want me to say."

"Just give me my son back. Now."

"Gladly." Fang went and handed the baby over. "Your baby sucks anyways."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Fang headed to walk out of the hut. "I'm going to find a better baby. One that I actually like."

"Fuck you, Fang."

"Fuck you more."

And that was the end of that.

* * *

"Fang, you big dope!" Nudge hit him in the shoulder. "What did you go and do that for?"

"I don't like that baby. It's not a good baby. Go find me another one to take care of."

"It's not just that simple."

"How is it just not that simple?"

"Who would trust you with a baby?" she asked. "I wouldn't even trust you with my baby!"

He gave her a long look. "You had better not be having anything remotely close to a baby anytime soon."

"What would I have, Fang? An elephant?"

"I don't know. Not a baby elephant."

They were out on the beach, where Fang found Nudge eating. What else would she be doing? He planned to just tell Nudge the predicament and have her find another child for him to take care of. He didn't think it would be that big of a deal. Honestly, it seemed like a piece of cake. Who wouldn't want their baby taken care of by Fang? Seriously?

"You're so stupid," Nudge said as Fang sat there next to her. Then, sighing, she asked, "Were you hungry then?"

"No."

"Really?"

"…Yes." He reached out to grab a piece of fruit from the pile in front of Nudge. "But only because I didn't eat breakfast today."

"Whatever." Nudge rolled her eyes slightly. "So anyways, now that little Jason is out, who were you thinking I could convince to let you baby sit?"

"I dunno," Fang said, shrugging slightly. "But we have to pick someone. If Max find out that I screwed this Iggy stuff up, she's going to be pretty mad."

"I'm pretty sure that Iggy will tell Ella and then she'll tell Max first chance she gets."

"Which is why I need to find another baby," Fang reasoned. "So it seems like Jason is just defective or something."

Nudge gave him a sideways glance for that. "You really are psycho, aren't you?"

"I am not a psycho."

"You're crazy," she told him with a slight shrug. "Same thing, right?"

"No. And I'm not crazy."

"You are crazy."

"Am not."

"What is crazy to you, Fang?"

"Mmmm." He took a moment to think. "People who eat other people."

"That's cannibalism, moron."

"Cannibalism is crazy!"

"To humans."

"Name another mammal that eats each other."

"Uh, mother spiders eat the daddy spiders."

"Spiders aren't mammals."

"Well excuse me for not getting a formal education like you. Oh wait. You don't have one either!"

Huffing, Fang took a long moment to just sit there and think. Talking to Nudge only ever brought him heartache, honestly.

"Hannah has a baby," he said slowly. "That really ugly girl with the messed up teeth."

"Really, you do need to work on your people skills."

"Whatever," he said dismissively. "Just get me the kid, alright? And we'll go from there."

"You're so bossy. As if you're the leader of this operation."

"I'm the leader of every operation." Then he thought. "That Max's not involved in."

"No way. I am totally heading this adventure."

"More like misadventure."

She rolled her eyes. "For someone that's being so pessimistic about this, you sure do want my help, don't you?"

"Well…yeah."

"Alright then. God. You know as well as I do that Max is going to be on this baby kick for at least another week or so. You just have to get through that looking like you're ready to be a daddy."

The thought alone made him want to gag.

Honestly.

After spending some time with Nudge, Fang headed back to his own treehouse, planning on sleeping off the horrible funk he had been in recently. It was the baby shit though that was messing him all up. Who could expect him to be normal when Max was…hormonal?

He was busy napping when he was joined in the treehouse. He heard someone enter before opening his eyes, but didn't stir. He knew who it was.

"Fang?"

He only grunted. The he heard the girl sigh as she came further into his home.

"I thought you'd be working, so I went to look for you, but you weren't building anything or in the labs."

Another grunt.

"Are you sleeping?"

Grunt.

"Oh. Well-"

"What do you want, Angel?" he groaned as he rolled onto his back before sitting up. "Huh?"

She was standing there, at the edge of his makeshift bed, staring at him. "I just wanted to hangout with you."

"Hangout with me," he said slowly, blinking while staring at her. "What do you want to do exactly?"

"Hangout."

"Come here," he sighed, watching as she went to sit down on the bed with him. "What's wrong?"

She only shook her head, sitting there next to him with a dead expression on her face. Fang elbowed her gently, trying to get her to talk to him, but she just wouldn't look at him.

"Angel, what's-"

"I didn't something wrong, Fang," she whispered, her voice cracking slightly. "And I-"

"What?" Fang shifted to look at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Nudge, Gasman, Max, and Iggy were one thing. Angel was a complete other. If she was in trouble or something, he was always the first to get himself involved. "What's up?"

She turned into him as well, even though he was kind of sweaty and stank a little bit Fang frowned when she sniffled, clearly holding back tears. He didn't do crying. Not even with Max. Not well anyways.

"Angel, if you would just tell me-"

"Promise you won't be mad?"

"Did you kill someone?"

"No," she moaned, leaning more heavily into him then.

"Then what? What's-"

"I think…" She rubbed her face into his shirt, no doubt getting it covered in snot. "I haven't had my…in a few…and I just…"

"Did you and Max get into a fight?" Fang was frowning then, more annoyed than concerned. Why wouldn't she just tell him. "'cause I'll talk to her. I'll tell her that-"

"Oh, God. Max!" Angel was crying some more then. "She's going to hate me too."

"Too? I don't hate you, Angel." Fang slowly moved to wrap both arms around her. It was kind of awkward, considering they were in his and Max's bed, but she was still their baby. "Why would I-"

"You don't get it, Fang."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Because you just won't tell me what's going on. Tell me. What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant," she moaned.

"You…You're…" He pushed her back from him then. "What, is this some kind of a joke?"

"Huh?"

"You're lying," he accused. "'cause of all this baby shit that Max has been talking about, Nudge or Max or someone sent you to-"

"I missed my period, Fang. I'm late. And I've been feeling-"

"Ew. I don't want to hear about this!"

She was literally crying then and moved to burying her head in her hands, hiding her face from his eyes. "Just leave me alone, you big jerk! God, I hate you. I really-"

"Look, just…" Fang looked around for a moment before shaking his head. "Just calm down, alright? You don't even know if you are, right? Huh?"

She sniffled. "I think I am. I mean-"

"Well, just calm down right now. You're not, like, certain," he told her. "Missing one of…those isn't that big a deal, is it? Max does sometimes. She's told me."

"I'm usually really regular," she told him softly. "She's not. I-"

"Ew." Fang shook his head at her. "Let's not talk about this anymore."

"Fang-"

He pulled her into a hug then. "Let's just both be quiet. For awhile, okay?"

She leaned against him then. "What am I going to do?"

Fang just sat there, staring past her at the wall of the treehouse.

What were any of them going to do?


End file.
